Ever since moving to Helsinki, my internal monologue has travelled only one frostbitten track that goes something like this: It’s cold. Why do they make it so cold? Jesus Christ, it’s cold. And dark. It’s cold and dark and why doesn’t this country just pack up and move south? Motherf — it’s cold! (repeat)

When I meet new people, I am interested in only one thing: “When is it going to get warm?” Responses range from April to May to Never. 

This is a sad way to behave. It’s time to man up and show some discipline. I will not complain about the cold again. Instead, I will play this song:

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Twilight 22 – Siberian Nights
from Twilight 22. Vanguard, 1984
After working with Stevie Wonder and Herbie Hancock, producer Gordon Bahary and vocalist Joseph Saulter established Twilight 22 and released two towering electro tracks: “Siberian Nights” and “Electric Kingdom”. Among the thicket of classic electro/breakbeat tracks from this period (Jonzun Crew, Newcleus, Jive Rhythm Trax, Debbie Deb), their dark sound stands out. “Electric Kingdom” promises escape from urban decay (“Snake pit, lion’s den, you need someone to be your friend – come to Electric Kingdom”), whereas “Siberian Nights” is an ambiguous piece of frosty late-Cold War paranoia marked by thundering drums and one of the best vocoders this side of Kraftwerk. 

You say things ain’t right, it’s cold as ice
But how’d you like to spend a Siberian night
He said, “Could it be the KGB or is it just my reality?’

So you believe everything you see
‘Cause you’re watchin’ the world on a color TV
You’ve got nuclear war, atomic rain
And nuclear war winter gonna freeze your brain.